Men Who Have Nothing to Offer!

This will be controversial but let’s get into it.

Part of the reason why it took me a long time to adjust in Sweden was the dating part. It wasn’t working for me because I have a different outlook when it comes to what a man should be in my life. Or the kind of men I am willing to entertain.

MANNERS.  I Rachel Otieno refuse to be in the company of a man with bad manners!

Am I the only one who cannot tolerate men who have nothing to offer? It is for this basic reason that I made it a principle to never settle for less than I deserve. Any man who thinks this is too much has a second longer than he should´ve in your company.

I believe that if a man comes into your life, it should improve for the better. P/S I don’t consider his looks or personality as part of the offering. I mean material stuff. I mean money, property, investments, rent or basic maintenance. Ladies if a man cannot offer the bare minimum what is he doing in your life? Aren’t you better of alone? You are better of focusing on your life goals alone than entertaining a man who brings nothing on your table. Unless you don’t know your value but I am here to remind you, that a man needs you in his life more than you think, it doesn’t matter how great you think he is.

I remember this time I went on a coffee date with a Swedish guy who ordered his coffee and proceeded to pay without turning to ask what I was taking yet I was right behind him. I ended the date indefinitely by just walking past him and not looking back. I personally think it is disrespectful to ask a woman out on a date and expect her to pick the bill. If you are broke, save up then ask her out when you are ready.

Think about it, we all know how much it costs to be a woman. Men step in the shower and they have a shampoo that is a conditioner, body wash and lotion at the same time. Yet just to wash your hair…. you have electricity bill (blow drying), shampoo, conditioner, treatment and all kinds of oils to nourish your flourish, right? Without mentioning the stress that it comes with, leave a lone makeup or dressing.
A man will expect you to look sexy, be waxed, smell good, be smart and entertain him at the same time. What makes it okay for him to think he can ask you on a date and expect you to divide the bill? I am not saying a man should pay for me to look good, I do that for myself.  But if you want my company looking package then you should have curtsey and pay right?

Let’s be fair here. How is it okay to share a bill when it costs me 10* times more meals to get ready?  Pay the bill and give me the balance or I will send an invoice at the end of the date.

I get picked on for dating a man for 2 years and not being married. It seems like a man is doing me a favour by making me his wife. This kind of reasoning doesn’t resonate with me because I don’t look at myself that way. I think any man who gets to marry me will be honoured. I therefore get to choose who and when it is time. For now we will start by him meeting my unrealistic expectations.

Ladies don’t fall in the trap of trying to make a man settle. Let him work hard to make you want to settle. If he thinks your expectations are unrealistic just leave him and be in the company of men who are willing to meet those standards without a question. In fact, if you were to ask me, men have the most unrealistic expectations of women for centuries and it won´t change anytime soon. So why would you compromise yours sis? Why would you settle for a man who has nothing to offer?

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20 thoughts on “Men Who Have Nothing to Offer!

  1. Wow ok. Never looked at life this way but hey to each his own. I personally dont go looking for my next come up when it comes to dating. I want to be loved and honored. Material things I have that I want someone of same mind set to share them with. I get what you are saying but you will miss out looking for money. Money is replaceable but true loving connection and motivation is not always there. I want someone I can build with, be a boss with a power couple. That’s what I have now we r a power couple. We own three businesses between us . I’m a chef and also a LTCMDR in the Navy. He works doing what he loves and so do I. It was never about money and material things when we got together . We were looking for love. I paid for alot in the beginning but as we built and he made his fortune with me I no longer have to,but I do at times because I want to. I’m not selfish or self centered to believe a man should pay to be with me. Look for a partner not a hand out. Just my 2 cents. But I like this blog so cheers!!

    1. I dont think it is sustainable to entirely depend on another person and therefore it is important that you get your life together as a woman. However, all men broke or rich have the potential to mess up your life. I believe in love but whoever I choose to love must have the capacity to add material value in my life. I just feel like there is a double standard to this, men expect so much from women but a woman prefers a man who spoils her then her moral values are questionable. Why?

  2. Thank you for clarifying. Your response makes sense and I understand your point better now. I think that that point was lost in the blog post though for the sake of being controversial 😉

    1. I did not do it to be controversial but it is impossible to talk about something that people like to be politically correct about without sounding controversial.

      1. You say it like it is. A man provides, and a woman nurtures! Why are women even giving excuses for men! Men go to war, literally, to win women. Men go to great heights to achieve the admiration and respect of a woman! So, I don’t see any problem in expecting that high standard from our men! The men who can’t provide, simply don’t get the girl! Enough said!

  3. I hope this is just a misfortune way of expressing yourself but you sound very self-centered and narcissistic in the blog post.
    Unfortunately there are people that just want and take from others, and yes – it works for a while when you’re young and charming (for both girls and boys). I was one of them.
    But if all you have to offer is beauty, why would a man want to offer you anything of significance? Sure, your beauty and make-up skills might interest them in the short run but it’s not a foundation of a deeper meaning relationship if there is nothing else on offer.
    Grow yourself, start a business, improve your self esteem, work on your bad sides, give your time and money with all your heart and emotions and never ask for something back and you will meet people that you never thought existed and it will grow the people in your surroundings. But if you’re in it just to get as much as you can without giving anything else than your beauty then my sister, your future will erode and you will become bitter.
    To use the cost of your make-up as the only argument as to why men should pay on a date is very self centered and petty. I hope this is just a superficial provocative blog post to get a reaction rather than your true attitude to love and relathionship.
    Over the years I learned that a good relationship is based on trust, respect, mutual values, appreciation and kindness to each other. The rest (materialistic things) can be acquired or lost along the way, but if you have the foundations you can get through tough times…
    I don’t mind paying my half and I do, my fiance provides me with so many other things that I value more and that a recession or fired from work can never take away from us.
    I wish you the best of luck in your relationship <3

    1. Hey Linda, I totally understand what you mean. However, the purpose of my blogpost is not to tell women to do nothing for themselves but expect everything from a man. I just want to let women know they shouldn’t settle for less than they deserve. We all know how unpredictable life can be, if it happens that my partner looses his job , gets sick I will be there for him and hold him down. But I personally I would not lower my standards just to get a man to like me.
      The beauty part is just an example, but if you are in a relationship you know how much value a woman brings into a man’s life. I don’t believe a woman should sell her love, but, they shouldn’t let someone who does nothing for her be a part of it.

  4. Ooh Rach, did you just read my heart. I’m turning the big 3 -0 people still debate about my age as they say I look very young in an old ladies heart but still wander why I haven’t been found. Ooh yes darling I look like that coz I have gotten better in my selection. I don’t coz substandard, the duplicate of the original, no thanks. I get bored within a fraction of a second with a man who can’t tell me his 5yrs plan he should include if possibility of death honey got you covered for life you can sit and just snap figer for anything. But for now if I’m the one to remind him on what to offer boo, I’m not his mother to be no thanks. Don’t even get me started on men who come at you with career titles, I always wonder if I’ll dress, pay bills and feed on that title of it has nothing to offer. It can just be a title of it has no plan.
    I’ll keep sipping my green tea and flipping them like pages, next.. Till the one in the same page as me or even better if he’s 10k pages ahead of me. A man should know how much even your nail do will cost in two months including the VAT, tip, uber,lunch and tea break in his sleep.. Nice read.

    1. There you go Grace,”I get bored within a fraction of a second with a man who can’t tell me his 5yrs plan he should include if possibility of death honey got you covered for life you can sit and just snap figer for anything.”
      Snatched my wig!

  5. Omg this is so true l left a relationship because l felt l was just wasting my time and l settled for much less than l deserve and now l am super happy and enjoying my life .boy bye

  6. God, I love your mind Rachel!!!😍 i am not bending my knees or anything to meet a man down there. 😂. I bring so much to the table (i even think i’m the table itself🤗) so men who have nothing to offer…those I don’t do. I just don’t.

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